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:: Articles: Happy Loser! (Philosophy)
 
Mind is prone to activity. It needs constant stimulation by means of its indulgence in some or other activity. That is why we can't stop thinking. And as long as we continue thinking, there will be Concepts. And as long as there are Concepts, there will be a scope for difference of opinions, which lead to arguments.

An argument was exactly what I had with a friend of mine, recently. I call it an argument because each of us where trying to defend our own Beliefs. Aditi, an intellectual and a wise person - one who strongly advocates that one can achieve whatever one desires. That's where we had a difference of opinion. Because, I no longer believe that Life is purposeful and that we are here to make a difference. I say 'no longer' because I once had the same beliefs as that of Aditi. May be the belief I have today, will change too, because I keep changing, my thoughts keeps changing and so does my beliefs. But now that I have this belief I thought why not advocate it.

I told this Aditi too. I said -
"Like you Aditi, I too believed in Mind power and other such concepts. I thought I could design my life the way I want. And with that goal I started off, 11 years ago on a journey towards PERFECTION. But today when I think about it, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I was being toyed all along and I thought of myself as the 'Player'. Today I know, I am not a 'Player', I am merely a 'Toy'."

I am not sure, if Aditi understood what I was trying to say. As is her tendency, she perceived it from a rational point of view. And she said -
"May be you didn't try hard enough!"

It's those words of her that has given way to following thoughts.

How do we decide the appropriateness of our efforts? How can we be sure whether what we did was right? By the outcome of our efforts? Does that mean when we put the right amount of efforts we will always get results? Because if that is so, then why is the deserving lot not satisfied, why they fail. And why does the undeserving lot eat their share of pie?

Can we confidently say that those who fail have not put in proper efforts? No we can't. Because Life has provided us with infinite examples through our own experiences or through what happens around us, that there is something else required for achieving the desired outcome. This something is beyond our understanding. Its an UNKNOWN FACTOR. Some call it LUCK, some call it DESTINY. To some it's GOD and there are few others, who refer to it has NATURE. But this UNKNOWN FACTOR has always taken us by surprise. Many a times, it happens that we are sure, everything has been done right and nothing can stop us from getting the desired result. But the UNKNOWN FACTOR surprises us by giving a completely unexpected result. And there are times when we are not sure about ourselves and our efforts but still achieve the set goals. We credit it to the same UNKNOWN FACTOR.

The point is - It's this UNKNOWN FACTOR that is the deciding factor and not what we do. If we are supposed to reach a certain outcome, we would reach it anyhow, irrespective of our efforts - right or wrong.

So this UNKNOWN FACTOR decided that I would waste my time for 11 long years in my pursuit for PERFECTION and then realize that there is no chance whatsoever for me to achieve it, at least in this Life-span. And that is what has happened. Today, I have realized the futility of my desire, my efforts and my life itself. I was looking for air inside a vacuum. But this realization has brought peace to my troubled soul.

Before, I used to be a man who cursed himself for being wrong and likewise complimented on each achievement. But life is unpredictable. My experiences led me through both good and bad phases. The good ones didn't influence me as much as the bad ones. My failures left me frustrated, dejected and full of guilt. In spite of the regular achievements I was more concerned about the failures. Even when I had won, I used to fuss over the price I had to pay for it. I constantly tried to avoid the occurrence or repetition of such un-desirable events in my life. My life had become a constant battle - one that I fought every moment. And there was no pleasure derived from the victories I achieved. Many said - "Now that you achieved what you wanted, you must be satisfied." I just used smile, but from within I knew I was far from being satisfied. How could I be? The desires and expectations for more and something better kept cropping up one after the other.

Today, I have realized that in my attempt to better my Life, I totally ignored life. Today, things have changed for me though my life is the same. I no longer desire for anything, I no longer nurse any expectation from life. And ever since this transformation took place, I have known my self to be a happy man. Life is still it's unpredictable self, but now it doesn't scare me, nor does it surprise me. I no longer react to anything, neither positively or negatively (as if they are different from each other).

This current state of mine, if I can say so, is more peaceful and relaxing.

I may have not have achieved what I wanted, but in the process I have achieved what many have died craving for. I may have failed in my efforts. I may have lost my GOAL. But I am Happy today. May be that was what the UNKNOWN FACTOR had planned for me - To be a HAPPY LOSER!



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